Friday, 30 January 2015

19 nightmares of a perfectionist that came to life

These imperfections of the human world can either bring you to a white heat or make you laugh out loud.

1. This carpet has been laid not the way it should.
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2. Is it some kind of exquisite architectural farce?
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3. Meet a new band «Dancing Corners»!
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4. Our eyes are in pain.
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5. What does this column exist for?
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6. Apparently, it was a really difficult pattern to spread.
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7. Like a slap on the face of a person who wants to have lunch here.
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8. Not every human being is able to calculate a straight progression.
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9. No, this superpower is given only to chosen ones.
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10. There should be a song about this door frame.
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11. This bench is screwed straight to the roof of hell.
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12. Well, this is quite a creative approach.
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13. Something went wrong in Matrix.
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14. With such a stream it is easy to scare all the germs away.
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15. Why? How? The story remains untold.
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16. Double strike in one place.
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17. A pleasant challenge for the fans of self-motivation.
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18. It is literally a chaos above your head.
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19. Such a cruel attitude to those who just want to dry their hands.
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Read more at http://dailybest.us/20-nightmares-perfectionist-came-life/#MZzzZYXv0q1hswRV.99

Entertaining cabin announcements!! :)

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or
reported:

1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant
crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached
cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for
your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight
attendants."

2. On landing the stewardess said, "There may be 50 ways to leave
your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."

3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington
National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella.
WHOA!"

4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please
take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a
landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull
it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you,
secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with
more than one small child, pick your favorite."

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteAlAzar.asp?#ixzz3QItEA9No

Halloween Funnies

Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit !

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteAlAzar.asp?#ixzz3QIr0i1UU

Living dinosaurs found in Asia are usually arrested

I hate bugs. When I was a kid I heard a radio news report about "the 100-metre butterfly" and spent years avoiding parks. Only when I reached my teens did I learn it was the name of a swimming race.
Weird creatures unnerve me. A reader just sent me a news report which said witnesses claimed that "a huge, live dinosaur" leapt out of a truck in Taiwan the other day. They called police. I wonder what they said. A triceratops is off the leash.
Police raced ("ambled") to the spot to find that a man had been taking his hippopotamus for a drive, as one does, when the creature leapt to freedom. The really weird thing, according to the local press, was that the hippo was a famous actor, having been in the cast of "a popular television soap opera". I am not making this up. But now I know why Taiwanese TV dramas never make the world stage. Drop the hippos, guys.
The truth is living dinosaurs are regularly found in Asia. (And not just in The Great Hall of the People.) Our normal Asian response to finding a "living fossil" is to have it arrested. This is for the crime of "existing when not supposed to", which we consider Very Naughty.
Case in point: When the townsfolk of Viramgam in Western India were unnerved by "a baby dinosaur" invading their town, they summoned police inspector J.M. Desai to take it into custody. A zoologist identified it as a pangolin, described as "a hard-skinned mammal which curls up into a tight ball on the ground when distressed". (Fascinating. Many of my bosses have been pangolins, and I never realized it.)
Anyway, I wouldn't want anyone to think Asians are stupid. We don't always have living fossils arrested. Sometimes we eat them. My files contain a report from the Philippines, where an odd-looking bird was photographed on its way to the market, where it was sold as food. An expert saw the photo and identified it as an extinct quail. Well, it was even more extinct by dinner time that day, I can tell you.
Then there was the case of the newly-weds on holiday in Sulawesi, Indonesia, who snapped a picture of a big ugly fish at the food market. They put the creature on their honeymoon website and got an email from an expert saying that it was an Indonesian ceolocanth, a dinosaur fish unknown to science. But by that time it too had been eaten with rice and X.O sauce.
This sort of thing happens often. At least once a week my office canteen serves a mysterious meatal substance that neither diners nor chef can identify.
I know what you are thinking, and I am thinking the same thing. What's for dinner tonight, and what are the chances of selling it to international scientists for a massive fee? Sadly for me, we're having fish fingers, which are going to be a tough sell as "living fossils". Even if they are well past their "sell by" date.
But seriously, the next time you find a living dinosaur, do not eat it or have it arrested. Be nice to it. It could be a former boss.

Now dats wat dogs are used for!! :D

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteAlAzar.asp?#ixzz3QIpXs4E9

Pure and simple!! ;)

What is the best time to go to bed?
When the bed won’t come to you.

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteAlAzar.asp?#ixzz3QIpDKVXu

Lawyer justice!!

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied. "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you *are* 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteAlAzar.asp?##ixzz3QIosomPB

Hawk logic!! :)

“Look at that speed!” said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.
“Hmph!” snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!”

Read more:http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteAlAzar.asp#ixzz3QInN0gDD

25 optical illusions beyond triviality

The paintings of Canadian artist Robert Gonsalves are the place where to worlds meet in such a way, that we can only guess, which of them is real. Or maybe creating his surreal puzzles the painter ignored our trivial reality at all. One way or another, Gonsalves’ optical illusions will twist your visual, esthetical and spiritual perception.

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How To Write Emails That Get Replies From Extremely Busy People

By Richard Feloni | Business Insider

If you want your email read by busy people, make it easy to read and reply to on a smartphone.
Over the past five years, Jon Levy has built "the Influencers," a network of over 400 impressive people in a wide variety of fields.
Twice a month, Levy hosts a private dinner in his sprawling New York City apartment followed by a Salon featuring TED Talk-like presentations from the likes of Bill Nye the Science Guy and breakdancing pioneer Richard "Crazy Legs" Colón.
New York may be filled with wealthy socialites, but Levy has built his network from the ground up.
One reason Levy, an independent marketing consultant, has been able to add executives, celebrities, and Nobel laureates to his network is that he's figured out how to send emails that get replies from even the busiest people.
If you're looking to initiate a mutually beneficial, professional relationship with someone you admire, consider the email tips that have worked for him:
Don't be a salesman.
"I don't try to convince them of anything in my message," Levy says. "It's not, 'Oh, I think it would be really good to do this because of X, Y, and Z.' [It's] 'This is what I do... I think what you're doing is fascinating, and I'd like to sit down with you and talk about what you're up to.'"
Keep it as short as possible.
You want the recipient to look at your message and be able to give an adequate response, even if it takes them 30 seconds on their smartphone. When Levy emails a high-demand person like a celebrity, he keeps his email down to a single sentence that cuts out any trace of filler. If he emails an executive, who makes decisions based on available information, he'll limit his message to three to five sentences and include some links they can click if they'd like to learn more about him and the Influencers.
Entice them with your subject lines.
If you're being referred by someone in their inner circle, mention their name in the subject. Levy likes the subject line "Quick Question" because it signals to the reader that they can open the email and remain on a path to a cleaner inbox.
Offer a clear next step.
If your recipient is interested in you, let them know how you'd like to move things forward by asking a question or extending an invitation to talk further.

Google HR Boss Explains The Best Way To Use Buzzwords In Your Résumé


By Richard Feloni | Business Insider

It's no secret that so many larger companies are turning to automated résumé screener software to cut down the initial pool of job applicants. So it's understandable why you might feel to need to play games or be creative in order to get noticed.
But loading up your résumé with meaningless buzzwords — and trying to "seamlessly" incorporate them throughout your entire résumé — isn't necessarily the best way to go about it, says Laszlo Bock, Google's head of human resources.
[I]f you're in a technical field, have a section where you list all your programming languages. If you're in other professions, you may want to extract the buzzwords from the job posting and have a "skills" section (doesn't matter what you call it) where you can park your laundry list of jargon. Don't waste space on verbs. Just have a list. Save your compelling writing for the bullet points under each job.
Look at the job posting for the position you're applying for and make note of specific adjectives mentioned. If they apply to you, include them.
Jobs site ZipRecruiter analyzed 3 million résumés last year and discovered there were three themes that caught the attention of not only bots, but human recruiters as well:
[W]e found that words that implied management skills (not necessarily as a manager: time management is an example of a management skill everyone needs to have), a proactive stance towards working ("responsible," "support," and "client;" speak to that) and problem solving skills ("data," "analysis," and "operation") were the most highly rated.
That said, don't be dishonest about what you include, and don't have your skills section be an incomprehensible mishmash of keywords.
Your goal is to get noticed, whether by a computer program or an HR rep with an inbox full of résumés and little time, and then you can let your personality shine through in follow-up interviews.

Wednesday, 28 January 2015

As simple as that!! ;)

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. “Yes or No,” replied the attendant 

Source: ajokeaday.com

This is bloody hilarious!! :D

Republic Day Parade 2015: Barack Obama’s Facebook wall


Barack Obama: Man this is a yawn fest. When is this thing going to end?
Vladmir Putin: LOL. Barack if you wanted to see big Russians weapons you could’ve just come to Russia or Crimea or Ukraine!
Nawaz Sharif: Actually, we had some excitement planned but your security service said nothing doing or no aid.
Arvind Kejriwal: See the AamAadmi can’t get three meals and the Narendra Modi government can’t even entertain Obama. What about our young girls? What happens to the CCTV cameras after Obama leaves?  I challenge them!
Kiran Bedi: See Kejriwal is always negative. I am always about positivity. AK47 we in the BJP don’t believe in debates. Just delivery. PS — Love you and missing you Modiji!
Sakshi Maharaj: Barack why you only have two kids? You must have more children or else your country will be overrun by Muslims!
Narendra Modi: Barrack, you are bored? I thought we were friends. :( :( :( . I thought true friends didn’t get bored when they showed each other their missiles!
Angela Merkel: NaMo darling, that’s why you should’ve invited me. Barack is an ungrateful person. And who’s that Kiran? Are you guys serious? :( I realised long-distance is hard but still…
Barack Obama: Come on NaMo, I don’t mean it that way. How about we hang out with that dude with the fake American accent? Salman something!
Narendra Modi: Oh okay. Let’s go today; he is my kite-flying buddy! Also Amit has been giving him tips on how to hold on to a woman!
Barack Obama: Can we grab a drink?
Narendra Modi: Ummmmm… It’s a dry day, plus I wouldn’t want to be around that guy when he drinks!
Salman4Lyff: How dare you mock Bhai’s accent? Bhai roxx, Obama suxx!
ArnabGoswami: THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW – WHY IS MR OBAMA BORED? WHY CAN’T WE AS A NATION ENTERTAIN ANYONE? WHY IS IT THAT I AM TYPING IN UPPER CASE? WHY ARE WE HERE? WHY DOESN’T POONAM PANDEY ACTUALLY STRIP?
The Nation: Nope Arnab, I don’t want to know. Actually, I never wanted to know anything. Stop dragging me into these things!

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Easy moves to get a tight tummy


Los Angeles, Jan 26 (IANS) In search of a foolproof method to tighten your abs? Learn the right moves.
Celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson has shared details of moves that can help one in getting a tight tummy, reports eonline.com:
* Lower ab leg tuck and split: Lie on your back with hands behind your head for support. Lift the shoulders up off the floor and curve the upper back into a crunch. Remember to engage your abs and keep your stomach flat. Extend your legs straight out on the floor with feet together.
Lift the right leg up by bending at the knee and tucking it into your chest then extend it out at 45-degree angle from the hips, keeping it about six inches above the floor.
Repeat from the start by pulling knee in parallel to chest then out, do this 30 times with the right leg then switch and do all repetitions on the left.
* Knee tuck number four: Lie on your back with hands behind your head for support, keeping your neck relaxed as shoulders are held off the floor in a crunch.
Pull with your lower abs to tuck both knees into your chest, remembering to initiate from the lower abs and pulling the belly button down.
Then as you extend both legs, the right one will bend at the knee, with the foot coming into the body with toes in line with the left knee, making the shape of a number four.
Lay the outer thigh on the ground as the left leg extends straight out with your heel resting on the floor. Initiate by pulling the abs in and tucking knees into your chest, then repeat the sequence.
Do all repetitions with the right leg then repeat on the left side, 30 on both legs.
* Half and full butterfly: Lie on your back with both legs bent and toes together with heels held off the floor, in a frog or butterfly position.
With your hands behind your head, support your rested neck and hold about 45 degrees off the floor in a small crunch.
Engage the abs and crunch up, lifting your shoulders a little further up, then return to your starting half crunch position and repeat with a fuller large crunch (extending your arms straight reaching toward your feet).
Repeat from the start, alternating with 30 sets of the exercise.

The 9 Worst Mistakes People Make In Email Subject Lines

Email EtiquetteMike Nudelman / Business Insider Do not write in ALL CAPS or use excessive exclamation points.
Whether you're applying for a jobpitching your business, or communicating with coworkers, the subject line of your email is one of the best tools you have for grabbing the reader's attention and getting a response.
It's also one of the most misunderstood.  Being too wordy, vague, or eager in the subject line is a great way to get your email deleted rather than read.
We asked career and email experts what not to do in your email subject line. Here are the most common mistakes:  

1. Not writing one
Not including a subject line is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Amanda Augustine, career expert at professional job-matching service TheLadders, stresses that the subject line can be the most important part of the email, since it often determines whether an email is opened and how the recipient responds. An email with a blank subject line will likely get deleted, lost, or immediately irritate the recipient, who is forced to open the email to figure out what it's about.  

2. Writing too much  
A typical desktop inbox reveals about 60 characters of an email's subject line, while a mobile phone shows just 25 to 30 characters, says Augustine. What's more, 50% of emails are now read on mobile phones, according to Dmitri Leonov, a VP at email management service SaneBox. If you write more than six to eight words and don't put the most important words at the beginning, you could lose the recipient right from the start.  

3. Being too vague  
The subject line should communicate exactly what the email is about so that the recipient can prioritize the email's importance without having to open it. For example, writing "Do you have a sec?" is too vague, says Augustine, since the reader will have to open the email or reply to figure out what you want. Don't make the reader guess. Keep it specific, straightforward, and use logical keywords that will make it searchable later.  

4. Using filler words  
Since you only have so much space to work with, don't waste it with unnecessary words like "hello," "nice to meet you," and "thanks," which can easily be included in the email's body. For instance, if you're applying for a job:  
Don't write: Hello! May I ask about a job opening?
Do write: Referred by Jane Brown for Technical Writer position  

5. Putting words in ALL CAPS  
Using all caps may get someone's attention, but in the wrong way. It's the digital equivalent of yelling, and your job is to make the email as easy as possible for the recipient to read rather than giving them anxiety, says Leonov. Instead, use dashes or colons to separate thoughts, and avoid special characters like exclamation points.  
6. Starting a sentence that finishes in the email  
If you begin a thought or question that ends in the email body, then the reader is forced to open the email. It's annoying, and since clarity and being respectful of the recipient's time is the goal, it's not very helpful, says Augustine. Consider whether instant message, a call, or an in-person chat might be a better medium for your question.
7. Using the wrong name  
Augustine says copy-and-paste errors are all too common. Sometimes when people are sending a similar email to multiple people, they forget to tailor it to each reader and end up with the wrong name or title in the subject line. The easiest way to avoid this is to reread the subject line before you hit send.  

8. Not indicating the urgency  
"People want to know whether they really need to read this now and if they have to respond," says Augustine. If you need a response, make it clear in the subject line and set a deadline. For instance, you could say: "Please reply by Friday." If not, tack on "no response needed" or "FYI" to the end.  

9. Not including who referred you  
If you've been referred by a mutual acquaintance, do not save that for the body of the email, says Augustine, since you risk it getting trashed before the recipient opens it. To grab the reader's attention, she suggests beginning the subject line with the full name of the person who referred you. 

Psychologists Say Doing These 7 Activities Will Make You Happier

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John Stillwell - WPA Pool/Getty Images While being royal doesn't guarantee happiness, Prince William, Princess Kate, and Prince George look pretty content.
Happiness is good for you. 
Psychology research shows that happy people make more money, perform better at work, live longer, and have better marriages than everyone else. 
Over the past few decades psychological science has found a few consistent trends in what makes people happy.  As  the Gym Lion blog reports , happiness is less a matter of what you have than the things you do.
Here are a few of the top happiness-inducing behaviors:
Committing to goals 
Like chocolate and peanut butter, goals and happiness are mutually reinforcing. The process is simple enough: Happy people have lots of energy, and that energy can be put toward pursuing their latest quest. 
Psychologists say that the more we see a goal as a part of ourselves, the more it's self-concordant — meaning we'll bring more  energy toward tackling it. University of Zurich psychologist Bettina Wiese says that "empirical research has repeatedly shown that striving toward self-concordant goals strengthens the link between goal progress and well-being." 
Finding meaning in your work 
• A job: "Focus on financial rewards and necessity rather than pleasure or fulfillment; not a major positive part of life"
• A career: "Focus on advancement"
• A calling: "Focus on enjoyment of fulfilling, socially useful work"
Their finding: The people who found meaning in their work were happiest. 
Spending time with people you care about 
Cultivating a long-term relationship 
The  New York Times recently reported that  "being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single — particularly during the most stressful periods, like midlife crises."
The reason? Two people are more resilient than one. 
Eating the fresh stuff
A 2013 study titled "Many apples a day keep the blues away" found that eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables had a positive correlation with happiness.
Specifically, the young people who ate seven to eight servings of fruits or vegetables reported higher happiness levels than their less-nourished peers. 
Getting in exercise
8,000-person Dutch study of people between 16 and 65 years old made some very strong claims about the virtues of exercise. "Exercisers were more satisfied with their life and happier than non-exercisers at all ages," the authors concluded. If you're trying to work out more but can't quite find the time, legendary psychologist Walter Mischel recommends "if-then" planning
Buying experiences
According to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, if money doesn't buy happiness, then you're not spending it right. Chief among his spending principles is the insight that you should buy experiences instead of things. 
In a survey of over 1,000 Americans, 57% of respondents said that they derived greater happiness from an experiential purchase, like a trip, concert, or other life event, over a material purchase, like a car, appliance, or other object. We like experiences more because we get to anticipate and remember them, the research says, and we appreciate them longer.
"After devoting days to selecting the perfect hardwood floor to install in a new condo, homebuyers find their once beloved Brazilian cherry floors quickly become nothing more than the unnoticed ground beneath their feet," Gilbert and his colleagues say. "In contrast, their memory of seeing a baby cheetah at dawn on an African safari continues to provide delight."