It happens!!

An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to. 

She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

Source: www.ajokeaday.com

Queen photobombs Commonwealth Games hockey star

An Australian hockey star was left awestruck when the Queen photobombed her selfie. Hockey player Jade Taylor was taking a snap with a team mate at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow when Her Royal Highness walked into the shot. Her majesty was seen smiling at the camera as Jade and her pal posed. The picture was posted to Instagram where Jade commented: “Ahhhhh the Queen photo-bombed our selfie!” The pal responded: “Awesome photobomb by her Majesty, straight up legend!”

Source: http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-wtf-news-its-weird-true-and-funny/20140801.htm#5

River turns blood red overnight in Chinese city

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A city woke up to find its river running blood red... and no-one knows why.

Locals say that initially the water flow was normal but later it had turned a frightening shade of crimson. An elderly resident who has lived by the river all his life says it has never happened before. Industrial contamination has been ruled out because there are no chemical plants along it length. Now environment protection officials in the Chinese city of Wenzhou are taking water samples to find out what is going on.

Source: http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-wtf-news-its-weird-true-and-funny/20140801.htm#4

Kazakh teen volleyball player slammed by critics for being 'too beautiful'

A teenage volleyball player from Kazakhstan has come under scrutiny for being so beautiful that she has become a distraction for the game. Critics have been complaining that 17-year-old Sabina Altynbekova has been mesmerizing audiences to such an extent that they feel there are no other players, except her. Even the athlete’s own coach says his team was increasingly becoming only about one player, as far as the fans are concerned. “It is impossible to work like this,” Nurlan Sadikov, the coach said. “The crowd behaves like there is only one player at the championship.” Altynbekova recently turned up in the Taiwanese capital Taipei to compete for her country in the Asian Under-19 Championships.

Source: http://www.rediff.com/news/slide-show/slide-show-1-wtf-news-its-weird-true-and-funny/20140801.htm#1

Thats one creepy brother!!

I hate it when my brother Charlie has to go away.

I hate it when my brother Charlie has to go away.

My parents constantly try to explain to me how sick he is. That I am lucky for having a brain where all the chemicals flow properly to their destinations like undammed rivers. When I complain about how bored I am without a little brother to play with, they try to make me feel bad by pointing out that his boredom likely far surpasses mine, considering his confine to a dark room in an institution.

I always beg for them to give him one last chance. Of course, they did at first. Charlie has been back home several times, each shorter in duration than the last. Every time without fail, it all starts again. The neighbourhood cats with gouged out eyes showing up in his toy chest, my dad’s razors found dropped on the baby slide in the park across the street, mom’s vitamins replaced by bits of dishwasher tablets. My parents are hesitant now, using “last chances” sparingly. They say his disorder makes him charming, makes it easy for him to fake normalcy, and to trick the doctors who care for him into thinking he is ready for rehabilitation. That I will just have to put up with my boredom if it means staying safe from him.

I hate it when Charlie has to go away. It makes me have to pretend to be good until he is back.

Source: http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/boo-scared-you

Poor old man

An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, "I have no room for your bike in my car, but I'd like to help you in someway seeing you standing here in the hot sun." After a few seconds of thought, the driver said, "I know what we can do. I have a rope behind my seat. I'll tie one end of it to the rear end of my car and the other end to the front your bike. You ride your bike, and I'll give you this whistle. If I go too fast for you, just blow your whistle and I'll slow down." The old guy agreed to it. So off he went down the highway with the old man and his bike in tow. A little ways down the rode, a young lady in a bright yellow corvette pulls up next to them. She gives the guy in the red Vette the High Sign, meaning "you want a drag?" Off they go down the highway, 100 plus MPH, the old man blowing his whistle like crazy. They zipped by a Highway Patrol cop sitting under a tree. The cop knew he couldn't catch them, so he called ahead to his fellow cop down the rode to intercept. "Car number 2, this is car number 1." "Go head number 1, what'cha got for me?" I got a red and yellow Vettes come down your way doing hundred plus, can you intercept?" "Ten-four, Is there anything else?" "Yeah, you wouldn't believe this, but there is an old guy riding a bicycle blowing his whistle trying to pass." 

Source: ajokeaday.com

He couldn't tell

After watching the girls do line dancing, Michael thought, hey I can do this. So he got in line and asked one of the girls, what’s the name of this dance?

"She said I don't know; this is the line for the bathroom"

Source: ajokeaday.com

Three deaf friends

Three rather deaf friends meet on the street; “Windy, isn’t it? Said one. “No, it’s Thursday,” said the second. “So am I,” said the third. “Let’s go and have a beer.”

Source: ajokeaday.com

Customer Support

I have my sympathies with Customer Support:

New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens'.

Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?

Customer: 'Tried but nothing”

Tech Support: “What key did you hit?

After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.

Source: ajokeaday.com

Job Application

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. 

Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ‘‘thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.'' 

"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant. 

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager. 

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicants inquired. 

''Simple,'' said the department manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down on question..5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'''

Source: ajokeaday.com